


Everybody Knows, Marinette

by Hoborg



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (except marinette and adrien), Comedy, Crack premise, Everybody at Collège François Dupont Knows, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 04:19:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18422676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoborg/pseuds/Hoborg
Summary: Marinette’s secret isn’t.Principal Damocles actually does something.That’s it, that’s the fic.





	Everybody Knows, Marinette

Over the rooftop, pivot on the gargoyle on the corner of the church, across the street, brake on the gutter, land on the ledge outside the second floor girls’ washroom of Collège Françoise Dupont. She’d returned to school this way so many times, it had become routine.

As usual, no one was in the stall below the window. Ladybug dropped into the room and dropped the transformation in a single action. Marinette Dupain-Cheng brushed herself off, exited the stall, washed her hands at the sink as if she really had been using the toilets, and walked calmly out of the washroom, directly into Principal Damocles, who had been standing right in front of the door. She shrieked.

“Excuse me, Marinette,” he said. “Just waiting until it was safe to return to my office.”

“Um, yes, sorry, Principal,” Marinette said, backing away on tiptoe.

“I hope the akuma didn’t give you too much trouble.”

Marinette froze. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, we all know you’re Ladybug, Marinette,” Damocles said blandly.

“What do you mean we all know???”

“Everybody knows, Marinette.”

“M-Mme Bustier?”

“Everybody knows, Marinette.”

“Juleka?”

“Everybody knows, Marinette.”

“ _Chloé?_ ”

“They all know. Everybody knows, Marinette.”

“Nino doesn’t, does he?”

“Everybody knows, Marinette.”

“Not Alya!”

“Gordon _Bennet_ ,” Damocles said, “yes, Alya. Everybody. Everybody knows, Marinette.”

“Adrien!”

“He’s Chat Noir, Marinette, he must know. Everybody. Knows. Marinette.”

“Wait, are you trying to tell me everybody knows?”

Damocles threw up his hands. “Bustier was right. I should have—”

“—And what was that about Adrien?”

Damocles blinked. “Are _you_ trying to tell _me_ you didn’t know who your partner was?”

“It was supposed to be secret! From _everyone!_ Even each other! Tell him, Tikki.”

If Principal Damocles was startled by a tiny red-and-black creature flying out of Marinette’s purse, he didn’t let it show, even when Tikki got right up in his face. “This is serious, M. Principal,” she said. “The Moth has the power to read the minds of his victims. If he finds out who the Ladybug and the Black Cat are—”

“Oh, I expect he knows too,” Damocles said. “Too many akumas have targeted this school’s students for it to be coincidence. Besides, if he’s who I think he is, he must be aware of Adrien’s role.” He began calmly walking toward Mme Bustier’s classroom.

“You-you know who Hawkmoth is?!” Marinette spluttered as she hurried to keep up.

“I have suspicions backed by evidence, but no proof,” Damocles said. “And if I’m right, he’s not someone to move against on suspicion. Arguably more powerful in his civilian identity than he is as Hawkmoth, especially since he seems to have no grasp of offensive strategy…which is fortunate, since _you_ and your, um, Tikki, evidently have no grasp of tradecraft.”

“Kwami. I’m a kwami,” Tikki said. “I have been empowering and guiding Ladybugs since before humans invented _agriculture_ , and I think I know how to keep them safe!”

“Peace,” Damocles said, stopping and turning to face Tikki. “I am sure you have done very well by your charges, only…how long ago was the previous Ladybug?”

Tikki frowned. “The 1930s? In India, working with the movement for independence.”

“That’s about what I thought,” Damocles said. “You may not appreciate how much more skilled humanity has become, since then, in certain ways.” He resumed walking down the hall, while continuing to speak. “It is not your fault; I blame myself. I should have realized that Marinette and Adrien did not know everyone knew, I should have realized what that meant, and I should have taken steps. I will take them now. Mme Bustier! A moment of your time.”

Caline Bustier was standing in the door of her classroom. She looked from Damocles to Marinette to Tikki, hesitated a moment and then looked back at Damocles with visible effort. “Yes, Principal?”

“You were correct. Worse than that; they didn’t even know each other. I will make arrangements with my old friend for that special course we discussed.”

Mme Bustier nodded. “I will speak with the other instructors and revise the class schedule. Let me know your old friend’s availability as soon as you can.”

“Carry on.” Damocles turned and walked away in the direction of his office.

Marinette straightened herself and looked at Mme Bustier. “I, um—special course?”

Mme Bustier smiled at her and Tikki (who was still hovering, uncertain whether to hide or introduce herself). “M. Lupin is going to give us all a course in the art of keeping and discovering secrets.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeah, this started out as the “[Everybody’s Dead, Dave](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shs7VQhVvxA)” scene from _Red Dwarf_ , except with everybody knowing, but then it took on a life of its own. I may be a little salty about how useless the adults are in this show.


End file.
